Gimmie Gummies

Those of you that got Christmas presents from me, probably got one of these babies in the package too:

And then if you visited me shortly after Christmas, you probably got sick on the leftovers with me too. This is my favorite “bad” candy. You have all the staples of a good meal: pizza, hamburgers, fries, hotdog, and two bottles of coke to wash it down.

And they taste dreadful. Like candy flavored Styrofoam. I just get some kind of regressive childhood pleasure out of eating candy shaped like junk food. It makes me happy.

Now imagine my awe when I saw this lovely item in the store:

That’s right, MEXICAN DINNER GUMMI! Complete, all the way down to the cliché Mexican kid in a sombrero! All your favorites are here:

Starting at the top you have Tortilla (I think Spain style, as I have never seen a tortilla like that in my life), frijoles, and huevos rancheros. Then as sides, feast yourselves on: A chile, taco, coke, corn on the cob, some kind of fruit drink, and a drink that looks like lemonade. And look at that adorable Mexican style packaging!

How do they taste you ask? Fucking awful. It is like they forgot to even add the sugar to their Styrofoam mix. They aren’t sweet, and I get the distinct impression I shouldn’t swallow something so obviously unnatural.

The “drink that looks like lemonade” actually turned out to be tamarindo flavored. For those of you that are fans of the citrus-spicy flavor of fake tamarindo, it may satisfy.

Why oh why did I buy a dozen of these. If you want one let me know!